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Kathy Marshack News

Sweat the Small Stuff When Co-Parenting With an Asperger Partner

Thursday, May 10, 2012


Have you ever heard the expression, "Don't sweat the small stuff?" I'm sure you have. Sadly this expression does not work if you are co-parenting with an Asperger partner. (Asperger Syndrome is a high form of autism. Common symptoms include lack of empathy, impaired use of nonverbal behavior to regulate social behavior, and lack of social and emotional reciprocity. For more information, visit Asperger Syndrome Frequently Asked Questions)

When you are in a relationship with an Aspie and co-parenting, your life is turned upside down every day because of the "small stuff." Small stuff is the problem and if you ignore it, it may lead to dire consequences. What can you do to work through this problem? Learn to attend to the things that you can and let the rest go. Easier said than done, right?

You may not be able to change the situation you are in, but you can change how to react or respond. In order to do this in a healthy and positive way, you must take care of yourself. Learn all that you can about Asperger Syndrome. Doing this will help you somewhat to detach from emotional distress you face while dealing with the small things. Also, take out a little time for yourself every day. That may sound impossible, but if you do not, you will spiral down into a dark place and then who will be there for your family? So, prioritize and drop the rest.

My upcoming book is entitled, Parenting with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome: Out of Mind, Out of Sight. A FREE sample chapter is available for download. You can also checkout my AAPC bestseller, Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome: Going Over the Edge?, which focuses on relationships and marriage with an Asperger partner.

If you live in the area you can join me May 19, 2012 at 1:00 PM in Portland, Oregon for the Asperger Syndrome: Partners and Family of Adults with ASD Support Group. We will be discussing, "Would we marry them again?"

How To Combat Depression and Anxiety with Adult ADHD

Wednesday, December 21, 2011


Adults with ADHD are more likely to suffer from depression and anxiety. It is hard enough dealing with one disorder, so when a person is suffering from two disorders, it is frustrating to say the least. The medical field refers to this as comorbidity or two disorders occurring at the same time. Therapy and medication are the most effective ways to treat ADHD and depression. In addition, lifestyle changes are highly recommended.

Here are some practical suggestions to help lesson symptoms of ADHD and depression in an adult:

Get a good night’s rest. Sleep is vital. Without adequate sleep, you mind and body suffer and whatever you may be dealing with will only be aggravated. A few tips to help you get a good rest: Go to bed at the same time every night. Do something truly relaxing before bed like take a bath or practice breathing techniques. Avoid eating right before bed.

Daily exercise. Exercise has long been known to help improve moods due to the release of endorphins. Exercise is also a productive way to release stress and frustration. Find time daily to exercise even if it is just for a few minutes. Since we are in the winter season, click here for some tips on how to exercise during this time of year. Getting outside as much as possible is good for everyone!

Eat a healthy diet. A diet low in sugar and fat and high in protein, fruit, and vegetables is recommended. Balance is necessary. It is better to have a healthy diet that can be maintained than a crash diet with highs and lows.

If you recognize that you are in need of making some lifestyle changes to help improve your ADHD and depression, start by setting small reasonable goals. Also, be patient as you implement them. If you need further assistance, speak to your doctor or therapist.

Siblings of Autistic Children Are Being Affected

Sunday, March 22, 2009


When a child is diagnosed with autism, most people automatically think of how the parents will be affected. But what about the siblings of children of autism? How severely are they impacted? Studies are now showing that these children will be affected in one way or another. One of the more obvious problems is that it will be more difficult for them to form a normal and healthy bond with their autistic sibling. It may also increase a tendency towards behavioral problems, depression and speech disabilities. Researchers recommend that siblings of autistic children can benefit from speech and language therapy. Obviously, every child is different and their reaction to a sibling with autism will be varied. The point is that it is important to be aware of the possibilities and to take the necessary steps to ensure that each and every child, regardless of disabilities, has the proper care and guidance they need. More research on this subject is available in the article OPINION: How Do Siblings Affect Autistic Kids? by Teresa J. Foden from the Interactive Autism Network. My new book, Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome: GOING OVER THE EDGE, discusses the fact that a relationship with a loved one with Asperger Syndrome is difficult. I use stories to share some of the struggles I’ve personally observed in families between siblings, mates, parents and children. My hope is to help teach these loved ones how to have successful relationships and to take control of their lives. If you are interested in ordering your own copy of the book, please sign-up for my newsletter so I can contact as soon as the book becomes available. Continue to read my blog for more updates!


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